What HP Taught Me

Many people know about the final installment of the Harry Potter movie franchise has come out and many people are mourning the end of this saga....I am one of them.

I must admit that, initially, I had absolutely no desire to read any of the HP books. In fact, by the time I purchased the first one, the third book was ready to hit the shelves. The primary reason I was not going to read/invest in the series, though it pains me to say it, was because at the time I was only reading books by African American authors. I was a senior in high school when the first book began to make waves in the literary community and had discovered that I had basically sheltered myself as a reader by only reading books written by white authors. It wasn't even that no one had introduced me to black fiction, I hadn't been interested in it. I hadn't looked for it. So when I found it around my junior year in high school, I jumped into it head first because I felt like I had a lot of catching up to do. So when the HP books came out, I didn't bother to look at them because 1.) the author was white, and 2.) it was a children's book (the mindset of an almost young adult) and I was beyond that. The other reason why I had some reservations about reading the book had to do with the uproar that it had created in the religious communtiy. There were so many people damning the series because it had a magical setting that it was pushed even further off of my radar.

Then, my second year of college, I had decided that I wanted to try and form a youth reading group with the summer program at my church for the 3 months that I was out of school. That desire led me to ask some of the kids I knew as well as search on the web for some books that would be entertaining, without being fluff stories that would be too easy to read. I wanted it to be a fun challenge. Guess what kept coming up, both in recommendation and online searches: the first two books of the series. Now, me being me, there are only so many times I'm going to pass up on a book. So I went to the bookstore on campus and bought the first book, and the rest is history. In fact, I read the first three books so quickly that I had to wait almost 8 months for the fourth to hit the shelves.

Here is what I realized: The HP stories were no more demonic or evil than anything else I was watching or reading at the time. I am a HUGE Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, I watched Angel, Charmed, watched some horror films. I read stories by V.C. Andrews about young girls getting raped and abused by their parents/caregivers and other stories about people who had sordid affairs and lived lives of complete promiscuity....HP was no where near as evil or against the values of Christianity as some of those stories were. Coming to that realization taught me that you can't listen to fanatics who are quick to demonize something just because it's different.

This is some what I gleaned from reading HP:
The "least of these" can be used to be wonderful instruments of deliverance
True friendship doesn't come from never fighting, but from never ending the friendship because you fought
Being popular can make you loved and hated at the same time
Being different is not wrong
Evil is taught
Life is worth living when you have something/someone you are willing to die (not kill) for.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but nothing of that sounds evil-based or against my faith. But I only know that because I read the books.

I could go on and on about this series because it has truly entertained me, both in print and on screen, and I am saddened to see the final end of the empire that is HP. But I will end by saying this.....The best thing about a book is that when you get to the end, you can begin again. So while there will be no new HP books or movies, I own them all. Fourteen so far, fifteen when the final movie hits DVD. So I can read and watch them over and over again...and I will.

 Note: Originally written in July 2010

Pathetic Women

Is it just me or do some authors have a penchant for creating weak, whiny female characters? And I'm not talking about male authors, the chicks!!

I am currently reading through a series of novels that were recommended to me by a co-worker and, while I like the stories, I am getting tired of reading about these leading women who are determined to be pacifists when they are being mistreated and threatened by forces that could be dealt with with great finality if they used the resources available to them.  And to add insult to injury, they don't heed the direction of the people who have lived the new life they are coming into for years (centuries). Someone tells them to stay put, they leave and walk right into danger. Someone tells them "don't go play in the brier bush" and they jump in ass first then cry for healing and help when, had they not done what they were warned not to do, they wouldn't be in the situation to begin with. Like they are two years old and don't know the stove is hot!!!!

I am aware that I can sometimes be very vengeful and too ready for payback against people who have done wrong, not necessarily to me, but to any person that would be defenceless unless someone came to their aid. But to have stories about these women who, before they meet these men have these harrowing experiences and live through them just fine using common sense and good reflexes, and then they meet these men, come into this new lifestyle and lose all the sense they had and their reflexes. Do any of these authors think it ridiculous to have a man beat someone senseless, prepare to rape them, and plan to keep them tied up to "have fun" with them for days on end pitied by the person they are attacking? And then, for that person to not want them killed, and for that person to not want to watch if they can't do the deed themselves? I mean, in one of the books the chick flipped because she was the only way link to the men being able to kill her attackers telepathically and as a result, she had to look at the person and watch the murder....SERIOUSLY!!!! If that's all I have to do for you to avenge my abuse then that's just fine with me!!! But again, maybe that's just me.

I'm going to continue reading the books but like I said, the weak women who are supposed to be these people's last hope are so trapped by their own limitations that it seriously irritates me. To have women who need their mate to coerce them into doing what they know is best for them. Or need to have a man to pull them out of danger because they are too paralyzed by their own fear to fight or run for their lives. While fear can be a very paralyzing thing I would think that when faced with your fear or dying, one would choose life.

But like I said, maybe its just me. Apparently these authors have found a market for, in my opinion, pathetic women. And here I am, borrowing them from the library because they were recommended to me by a female reader who, by the way, missed all the relationship and "fighting for your life" and teetering on the edge of extinction parts of the story and only told me about the wild sexual encounters. The books are more than the pathetic women and more than the sex. But the pathetic female leads are really bugging me.

Again, I needed to get that out.

Beauty and the Beast

Question: Why did I go see this musical?

Answer: Because the first time was a horrid experience!!!!

I saw Beauty and the Beast years ago, when I was in high school (it makes me sick to think that was years ago, lol) and all I could remember from the show was that I was sitting in the most uncomfortable box seats with no armrests and the lady who played Belle had a shaky, shrill voice that annoyed me for the ENTIRE show! I remember thinking in the beginning that it may have been nerves, but after 10 or 15 minutes on stage...certainly after intermission, you should be in the swing of the show and immersed in your character and nerves should not be a factor. I don't remember anything else about the show. It is like her voice was the spot of blood on Lady Macbeth's dress that she couldn't get out no matter how hard she scrubbed.  No matter how hard I try to forget that voice, I can't.  And I can't remember anything else about that production because I can't not remember that voice....like nails on a chalkboard.

Anyway, so, I went to see the musical and it was AWESOME! I dare say the cast for this year's touring production is one of the best traveling companies I have seen so far! They were all so talented, their comedic timing was GREAT! Nafoo was hilarious. All of the characters where as memorable on stage as they are on the animated movie. This production was an example of how, no matter how small the set, the CAST and direction of the play the difference in how it is perceived by the audience.  The set was absolutely small.  While it was very colorful, it was almost minimalistic.  Even the castle of the beast only had 3 or 4 parts to it, but the way those parts were moved around, and how the actors traveled and worked with the set made it seem larger than it was.  It was like every detail, small as it was, was taken into account like it was larger than life.  One of the most impressive things for me is how the set for the castle interior of the Beast's home was moved around.  There were human gargoyles that spent the entire time they were on stage in poses as if they were real gargoyles and when it was time for a staircase to be moved, or a room to be turned around, they worked together to move the sets, then went back into formation.  It was seamless, and part of the show, and the show wouldn't have had the same effect if they were not there & the set was on mechanics or strings and; pulleys like some of the other show sets are.  There were, or course, musical numbers that were a part of the show that are not part of the movie, but there was one with an AWESOME dance sequence that was a combo of singing, dancing and prop percussion (like STOMP) that was absolutely amazing! I mean, they clinked and tossed beer mugs across that stage like it was nothing, all while dancing and with NONE of them looking like they were working really hard to catch and clink on cue without messing up.

I am so glad I went to see this show because it was nothing short of amazing. I wish I could see it again. I wish I could have recorded it because they were absolutely amazing! Even with a small set!

Help Hullabaloo

So, the talk of the African American (AA) literary community (writers and readers) for the past few days has been about the book that has recently been turned into a movie called The Help.

Before I get into what other people have said, let me start with that I think.  First and foremost, I have not read, nor do I intend to read this book. I don’t doubt that this author is very good at what she does, nor do I question the level of entertainment that others have gotten from reading this book. I will not read this book because I have no desire to read about circumstances surrounding the disenfranchisement of black people told by a white author. While I do read all races of authors, I just don’t have the need to read about my history from the creative mind of a white author. In the same vein, I wouldn’t read a book about the Jewish historical experience written by a Nazi sympathizer or a book about the Native American experience written by someone other than a descendant of Native Americans.  While I do believe that all authors have the ability to tell any story and tell it well, I don’t feel that you can write about someone else’s experience with the same amount of authenticity as that person, or a person directly related to that experience, could.  Could a white person give an apt portrayal of Jim Crow South? Yes, absolutely! Do I feel a white person can give an accurate portrayal of Jim Crow South from the black perspective? HELL NO!

Having said that, I will also not see the movie. At least not in theaters. After all, I do have Netflix. I have an issue with the fact that this book was optioned for a movie so quickly when there are so many excellent portrayals of the black experience by AA authors. Although I am not an author, I feel slighted by this occurrence and have found myself wondering why so many AA written books are not optioned for films when they are just as good and just as well read as books by white authors. Through reading some posts on FB I have gathered that there are many factors that we as readers can control, that hinder books by AA authors. Things like lending, borrowing and bootlegging AA works by members of the AA community work as a disservice to the AA artists. This affects more than just AA book, but also AA movies, hence the adding of bootlegging.

It seems obvious what needs to be done to fix this issue. Black readers should spend more of their resources purchasing AA authored books, if they like to read. I’m not saying this as someone who doesn’t practice what I preach. I am well aware that you spend your money on what you want to spend it on. I enjoy spending my money on books and the majority of the books I purchase are by AA authors. I do it because I like to spend my money on books. I will take my last $6.00 and buy a book. Now, I am oh so guilty of reselling books. I have bought books that I didn’t like, books that I know I’m not going to read again and I look to sell them or give them away. I haven’t been that successful in selling them, but I do it when I can. This doesn’t help with the issue of AA writers, but I must admit that the ones I will reference are not authors I’m looking to sell. Doesn’t make it any better for the other authors, but it is the truth.

I’m going to try and cut this short because I have discovered that I could talk about this for quite some time. That is one benefit of this book. I didn’t know I felt this way about the issue.  I mean, I knew I liked to read AA books. Most of my personal library is AA books, but I was unaware of the fact that I was knowledgeable about the fact that AA authors have portrayed black characters for years and gotten almost no play on the Hollywood scene. I mean, look at something with as much critical acclaim as Roots….TV only. The Color Purple made it to the theaters…with Spielberg at the helm. It would be nice if some of the many books about the black experience written by AA authors would get more play on the big screen.  But then again, if they did, would the black community go see it or bootleg it.

So, that’s all I’m saying at this point about The Help. I repeat, I don’t have a problem with this book being written or its author. To see my issues, refer again to paragraph one.

The Wizard of Oz

Here's how I was able to enjoy this musical: One, I haven't seen the movie 100 times over; Two, I've never seen the musical.  If either of those had been a factor, I would not have gone to see the musical.  In fact, I had already passed on seeing it twice before, but my determination to support the arts in my city, which needs to be done because the reception of the arts is piss poor here, overran my desire to see it on stage.  In fact, I bought the tickets on a total whim. I was watching TV and the ad for the musical played and I went to Ticket Master and ordered the tickets...and got darn good seats at that!

The musical was good. It had all the songs from the movie and a couple of songs that were just for the musical and plots to go along with those. I loved the dancing poppies and the ladies who played trees and poppies and snow were very good! The cast all had really good voices and the men did a really good job of playing their parts. I have often thought that the males roles in this musical were very eccentric and a little off, and wondered how much it took for the men in the movie to play such silly, and sometimes, simple roles.  Like how many takes it took to get the scene and the lines just right.  But watching the men live and on stage, they did an excellent job of being exactly what the roles called for them to be...which is their job, so they should have been good at it, right? lol.  The munchkins were actual kids. I don't know if I expected them to be little people or what, but they were all kids and even a couple of local kids were a part of the ensemble. Toto was cute but I don't think it was a yorkie like on the movie and he wasn't all black, but you know, he played his part. What was interesting and, I guess, different, for me at least, is that this is a musical with a lot of traveling.  And there are things that happen during the travel, so the travel is showed...on a small stage.  So there was a lot of walking in place, or walking in circles, not even the whole span of the stage, that made it seem monotonous. The only time Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion really MOVED during thier travel was when it was time for them to exit the stage. This was an example of a musical that was very small on stage. Very small.

I'm glad I went to see it. I don't think I would see it again, but that isn't anything new. After all its a movie classic and I think the movie is better than the musical.  But there was a great turn out for it. The fact that it was only in town for two days contributed to that, I'm sure, but I was really happy to see a packed house here. That doesn't happen often and that is why I tend to go out of town to see a show.  So to sum it up, the musical was good, not great, but it was enjoyable.

The Lion King

There isn't enough I can say about this musical! It was absolutely wonderful! I will begin with talking about what I thought it would be, then what it was.

First of all, I went to see this with my mom, which is a plus. I love including her in things I love to do.

Second, when I first heard about The Lion King, the musical YEARS ago when it opened on Broadway, I was not excited about it.  I wasn't excited about the movie when it came out.  In fact, the only reason why I saw the movie (for the first time on VHS tape- not even in theaters) was because my brother and sister wanted me to watch it with them because they loved it and kept quoting lines from it during my visit over the summer that the movie was released on tape.  So I watched it with them, and loved it! Loved the music, loved the storyline, everything. Then, when I heard about it going on Broadway I was exceptionally limited by my own mind.  As much as I like to think I have this wonderful imagination, I could not fathom how they would be able to put singing animals on stage.  There was no way that my mind could conceive that and accept that it would be good and worth the money to see it, versus watching the movie.

Boy was I wrong!

This musical was completely magical! From before the overture began to the very last curtain call. A lot of times when you see a musical on tour, there's a sense that you are missing some of, or a lot of, the key elements that went along with having the Broadway stage at your disposal.  For one, the Broadway stage is fitted with grooves and apparatuses that are needed to support shows and plays with huge sets that move and transport you from one place to the next.  For example, when I went to see Aida on tour, after seeing in on Broadway, there were a lot of staging elements that were missing and the musical felt "small" on the stage at the Landmark Theater, versus the stage at the theater I saw it on in New York. The musical was still good, but it just felt cramped to me.  I'm sure that those who hadn't seen it on Broadway didn't feel slighted at all, which is more than likely why I was and am so enamored with the production The Lion King that I saw after not having seen it on Broadway.  But there were so many elements that were in this traveling production that I know were present on Broadway that I am pretty darn sure that the only thing missing was a bigger stage.  The animals still came down the aisles, the birds still flew from the balconies...I mean, it was a visual paradise! The only thing that was off from the traveling play versus the show on Broadway was that the guy who played Timon was in a green body suit.  Now, on Broadway, he blended in with the greenery of the forest that was a part of the set on stage.  But in the traveling production, he was in front of a yellow-orange screen & backdrop with long lines of grass on the stage floor.  It wasn't a green washout like on Broadway, but that was even OK.  There's even the song the Rafiki sings to Simba when she (it was a lady in this production) finds him after feeling that he is still alive that I SWEAR I have heard before. I don't know where, but I knew that song like I had sung it before and I'd never seen the musical & never heard the soundtrack...to my knowledge.  The same thing happened when I went to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat when Joseph sang "Close Every Door."

I would CERTAINLY see this production again, in fact, I'm trying to get the funds together to see it in a few months. It was really awesome. 

On a sadder note, though, I couldn't help thinking, as I was watching the musical about the little girl who played Nala on Broadway and had passed away about a month before I saw the show on tour. She was such a cute little girl who had a passion for Broadway and had been diagnosed with cancer. It was hard to imagine, as I watched the performer who played Nala that night, that such a young, vibrant personality had been snuffed from the earth by a truly vicious and unrelenting disease. So, I end this post with her picture and a reminder to cherish the life you have and the people you live it with.  They can be gone faster than you know.
                                

Book List 2010...Better Late Than Never

So, last year I made a goal of reading 36 books over the 12 months of the year. If I were reading up to my usual speed and frequency, this would have been an easy feat, but since I was not...I didn't make it. However, I will share the list of books I read for 2010. I'm trying again to reach 36 for this year...but I'm off to a very slow start.


1.)  No More Playas by Brenda Jackson
2.)  Marked by P.C. and Kristen Cast
3.)  Night Pleasures by Sherrilyn Kenyon
4.)  The Warded Man by Peter Brett
5.)  Night Embrace by Sherrilyn Kenyon
6.)  Dance With the Devil by Sherrilyn Kenyon
7.)  Kiss of the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon
8.)  Night Play by Sherrilyn Kenyon
9.)  Seize the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon
10.) Any Rich Man Will Do by Francis Ray
11.) Sins of the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon
12.) Unleash the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon
13.) Dark Side of the Moon by Sherrilyn Kenyon
14.) Devil May Cry by Sherrilyn Kenyon
15.) Dream Chaser by Sherrilyn Kenyon
16.) Acheron by Sherrilyn Kenyon
17.) Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer
18.) Nappily Married by Trisha R. Thomas
19.) God Still Don't Like Ugly by Mary Monroe
20.) Orange, Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice
21.) Stone Cold Surrender by Brenda Jackson
22.) Jared's Counterfeit Fiancee by Brenda Jackson
23.) The Someday List by Stacy Hawkins Adams
24.) Dead In the Family by Charlaine Harris
25.) Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer
26.) Betrayed by P.C. and Kristen Cast
27.) Chosen by P.C, and Kristen Cast
28.) Untamed by P.C. and Kristen Cast
29.) Hunted by P.C. and Kristen Cast
30.) Tempted by P.C. and Kristen Cast
31.) Burned by P.C. and Kristen Cast
32.) I Am Number 4 by Pittacus Lore

Now, the purpose of this goal was for me to read through some of the 86 books on my own personal bookshelf that I have yet to read and have owned for years. But it didn't work out that way.  Out of 32 books, 22 were borrowed from the library, 5 were newly purchased in 2010 either in paper or on my Kindle and the remaining 5 were from my bookshelves! This year hasn't started off any better. I've spent more time in the library than on my own shelves. But I'll get to them eventually.

The Color Purple

I made it to see The Color Purple while it was on tour last season.  I could say it was my Thanksgiving gift to myself. I'm glad I went to see it. After hearing so much about it while it was on Broadway and not being able to make it to New York, I was elated when it finally came on tour.

Having said that, I must admit that, for me, the hype had me so excited that the musical itself was a little of a let down.  Let me qualify this by saying that the music was great. The singers were great. I even got to see Latoya London from American Idol playing Nettie and that was very exciting for me.  I think what let me down wasn't the music itself, or the acting, but the storyline.  The story of The Color Purple has been present in my life through book and movie for almost all of my life.  So much so that when the movie comes on TV, I don't even watch it anymore. I avoid that channel at all cost because, while I don't want to see it, if I flip past it, I will stop and recite the lines I know by heart along with the movie. I've read the novel by Alice Walker three times.  I think part of me was thinking that the playwrights of the musical would have taken some creative license with the storyline and changed or added some things, like they do in movies.  They did add some things for the benefit of fitting in the songs (like the scene for Push the Button) but there was so much that was pretty much exactly like the book or movie that I found myself wanting to fast-forward to the next song.  But, that was my issue & my issue only.  I went with a friend who absolutely loved it in its entirety.  So to each her own.  I don't regret seeing it, I still think it was money well spent, I just expected more.

Having said that, I must say that I was exceptionally disappointed in the AUDIENCE! You know how they have the announcement every time before a play or musical stating to "please refrain from taking flash photography during the performance" or "taking pictures during the show is prohibited" and "please silence or turn off your cell phones."  Well, leave it to the one musical I go to, with a predominately black (us) audience and a predominately black cast to have folks taking pictures with flash DURING THE SHOW and cell phones ringing in both sections of the show (before and after intermission).  You know that part of you that wants to look around in aggravation and exclaim "are you serious?" I spent a good part of the musical suppressing that part because that wouldn't make me any different than them.  But it was so disappointing.  It was also disappointing to realize how many people have not read the book! I mean, come on! Its an African-American Fiction Classic!!!! You should have heard the audible, loud gasp that went through the crowd when Celie said her baby was her daddy's baby, and then later that her daddy was her step-daddy!!! Come on people!

So anyway, that was that experience. I probably will not go see it again as I have other musicals because, while it is a classic, I have been inundated with The Color Purple all my life....I'm classic-ed out. lol

Getting Back

Ok, it's been a while since I've posted here. The last few months have been so packed with deaths and births and other, time consuming activities as well as starting a new blog and a new journey that I have neglected to continue working on the blog dedicated to my passions. I have not stopped reading. I have not stopped attending shows. I just haven't taken the time share them here, so those things will be coming and coming soon. I haven't forgotten about you, blog nation, I just took a little break.

More to come.

My Holiday Love

I know that many focus on different things during the holiday season. As we are different people with different backgrounds and interests, our tastes are destined to be different. Me? I love the decor. I love the music. I love driving around and seeing other people's lights (because I'm too lazy to deck the outside of my house). But I think what I love most about the holiday season are the shows. The Nutcracker, The Trans-Siberian Orchestra (though they are not coming to my neck of the woods this year), The Symphony. The same shows every year, but because they only play during the holiday season, they are something I look forward to year after year. This year, I get to treat myself and my mom to The Lion King! I literally cannot wait. I bought my tickets 9 months ago and have been sitting on them looking forward to this weekend all year long. Now, it's just a few days away and I am excited to see it. I'm excited for my mom to see it with me. I love being able to share things like this with her. After that, it's Christmas parties and social gatherings and OH! I'm going to Christmas Town this year! I can't wait to see that and to take some pics to enhance my own display at home! To be completely surrounded by the sights and sounds of Christmas in...get this...GERMANY!!!! I couldn't believe when I saw that was the theme for this year. I'll do a blog later about my love of German and Russian history and where that came from, but that is nothing short of the bee's knees for me and I am super excited! Keeping in mind what this season means for me, both as a Christian and as a lover of wonder and fantasy makes this season an awesome experience...even if it got here so fast that it feels like it just left.

Such a loss

Tonight I lost a near and dear friend. I am positively numb right now. I can't feel anything. My arms, my legs, my head...all numb. I don't want to sleep & I can't believe that he isn't here anymore. I can't believe that I'll never hug him again. I'll never hear his laughter or see his smile. I'll never watch him saunter/strut around the grounds at church anymore. I don't know if this hurts the same or more than it did when I lost my step-dad. My step-dad was sick for a year before he died. My friend was sick for 2 weeks. And now he's gone. I was talking to him last night, going over the football scores, and tonight he's gone. I gave him a hug and a kiss last night before I left his room, and tonight he's gone. All I feel is that he's gone. I've lost. His wife has lost. His kids have lost. His grand kids have lost. He was my extra dad. My backup plan. I dreamed of him walking me down the aisle if I ever got married (since my dad & I don't have the best relationship). I dreamed of him holding my future children and caring for them and being an example to them of what it really meant to be a strong, black, caring man. Now I have none of that. I didn't have 1 dream for my near future that he wasn't in. I feel like I've lost a part of me. A piece of my heart. He means so much to me and now he's gone. And I'm at a loss. I don't even know what else to say. I spent the whole day helping his family and I'm just getting to deal with me. I feel alone. Empty. Lost.

Breaking Dawn (Spoilers!!)

So I finished the last novel in the Twilight series last night & I must say, I really enjoyed it. Coming from my standpoint, I can't see why so many people had issues with this final book. My only "issue" so-to-speak is that it was sooo long. She could have truly gotten 2 or even 3 books out of that 1 novel. But she chose not to & I read it so...issue squashed. There were many things I truly liked about this story. Number 1, it goes so easily into non-sleeping vampire Bella that I didn't realize for a long while that, while Jacob and the baby slept, she didn't. Duh, that's part of the vampire twist in this book! I loved the whole birth and changing scene! It did great for allowing me to use my imagination and I actually it twice. The other transition that was so smooth that I almost missed it was them calling Bella's ability to block out everyone, or not be read by anyone, a "shield." By the time I realized it they were prepping for battle. I could keep going on. The battle/showdown was really good and gave a distinct look at the corruption of the volturri and an understanding of why Carlisle decided to part their company years ago. So, without giving too much away, the book was really good. Even though I didn't want to see the series end, the ending felt like the end. Like there was no need to go any further and no need to know anything else. After all, once Edward, Bella, Renesmee & Jacob are safe & all happily ever after, what else is there? How much attention could be gathered & kept in a story about any of the other characters, including Renesmee & Jacob, without Bella & Edward? I might pick the book up, but I don't know if I'm going to get that far in reading it. I read the whole book & the only part I truly focused on of Jacob's story was Renesmee's birth...because that involved Bella. Now don't get me wrong, I remember his whole story, but his voice, his mindset wasn't as enthralling as Bella's. So, I'm going to let this go. All in all, I am glad that I decided to pick the books up and read them. I'm glad they were different from the other stories out there and I'm glad I read and remember them from cover to cover...I think! Next...The Passage by John Cronin. There are a few books in between, but that's the next vampire book I'm slated to read.

Can't All Be The Same

So, one of the things I have noticed as I read books & read reviews of books by regular readers just like me is that many people complain or take issue with the fact that books are not written as they expect or as they want them to be written. Now, don't get me wrong, a bad read is a bad read, any way you slice it, but a good or decent read that has deviated from the norm is not a reason to trash a book...is it? Case in point, I have been reading the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer & am on the 4Th book right now. My only issue with the book is that it is sooooo long! It truly could have been 3 books. And I have found myself needing to take a break after reading it for 3 1/2 days & not being done yet! That doesn't normally happen. I read The Good House by Tananarive Due cover to cover until I was done. Granted it took me about 3 weeks to do so, but I did it without feeling tired or overwhelmed by the story. To be completely honest, the only thing that is overwhelming me about Breaking Dawn is that I truly want to know what happens at the end of the book without flipping ahead (reading on my Kindle keeps me from doing that). Now I haven't finished the book, but as I read the reviews from others who have, I pretty much see the same complaints all the way around: Its not believable because its so different from other vampire stories; it's harder to enjoy because Bella seems so desperate, etc. Other people have just said its a piece of shit and they hated it (mind you they read and/or bought the 3 others). My point is this: Why or HOW can you enjoy reading the same thing over & over again? One of the things that I appreciate about the book is that it is different from the typical vampire stories. BTW, let me clarify that vampires are not real, so criticizing a fictional story for being unrealistic is just retarded! But, back to my point, these stories are written differently, primarily because of the audience that they were written for. Typically, a vamp bite with the exchange of blood does the trick for conversion. Typically, vampires are extremely sexual beings (excluding Louie from the dear Anne Rice) & are very much into satisfaction and are able to do so without damaging their guest for the night. But in this series, there's no need for the exchange of blood, there are "vegetarian" vamps who can't have sex with humans because they may break them to bits. I say this to say that I think readers (movie watchers, TV viewers, etc.) should be careful of how they criticize and what they criticize for. It seems a little counterproductive to complain & shoot down a book because the author chose to tell a story in a different way or create a story like no one has ever heard before. Isn't that what art is all about? And to add to that, I think that the complaints that folk have would be lessened greatly if the series were not such a hit. We still are a society that works to shoot down that which is lifted up, regardless of who it impacts. Having said that, let me make it clear, there are books I have read that have not enjoyed. But that is primarily because they were not written well. However, there are other readers who don't agree with me. For example, I read Timothy McCann's Forever & that was enough to let me know I didn't want to read anything else by him. On the other hand, I read The Other Woman by Eric Jerome Dickey on a loan, loved it, went out and bought Genevieve...didn't love it so much. I don't know where I wanted to go with that now, but I think my point is that some you take, some you leave, but just because you want to leave it, doesn't mean that it won't be taken by someone else.

More

This past weekend I went to a jazz fest here in Richmond. Let me preface this by saying I have never...NEVER...been to a jazz fest before in my life! As much as I love jazz & as much as I have listened to jazz I have had the opportunity to see it played live, in person, played by its original composer/musician little to no times. I'm sitting here trying to think of one time and, beyond seeing Anita Baker back in the 90's, I am coming up empty. The reason why has nothing to do with money & everything to do with timing. For some reason, the majority of the jazz fests that take place around my locale tend to fall on the 3rd Sunday, which is the Sunday I sing at my church. I'm don't like to miss that because its the one thing that I LOOOOVE to offer God whenever I can. Anywho, I was able to go to this one because it was in my city and I was able to rehearse & sing on Saturday & Sunday and still go and I had wonderful friends who were willing to foot the bill for me, as my funds were awfully low. So this past weekend I got to see Norman Brown, Chaka Kahn, Chuck Mangione & Boney James. All artists whom I have listened to for years and 2 of whom I have adored & treasured since I was a kid (Chaka & Chuck). On top of that, I was able to see and hear some people I've never heard before. Marcus Johnson, who's an awesome pianist. Ledisi, of whom I have heard but never really listened to because I don't like listening to the radio (too much repeat, too many commercials, too little variety). So overall, this past weekend was great (how many times have I said this?), but I came to the realization that I need more weekends like this. I don't get out enough. I don't allow myself to take advantage of the opportunities around me often enough for me to benefit from them in any way. I spend so much time doing things that don't really have anything to do with me & that would continue to function whether I was there or not, and not enough time doing things that I really would enjoy doing. Things that are different. Things that I need to do. I spend a lot of time thinking about what is and what isn't in my life. Where I am versus where I would like to be, held up against where I thought I would be by now. While I know there is nothing that I can do to change what has been done, I know that if I don't want my future to be the same as my past (which isn't bad) I need to change, I need to invite change & I need to accept change. I need to save for the shows I want to see. I need to save for the other jazz fests that happen withing 90 miles of my front door and make the time to go to them & enjoy them. I've been wanting to do the Dave Koz cruise for almost 4 years now. WHY HAVEN'T I GONE??? Partly because of the costs but mostly because I think about it, something else comes up and I push it to the side, never to think about it again until I hear about it on his web show. This has to stop! I have got to stop saying "I wanna" & start saying "I'm gonna" & frigging follow through. That's my commitment to myself. Rant over. Mind clear. Planning will commence tomorrow.

When Panic Sets In

Sooo this weekend I went to Boston for a reunion. First things first, I had an AWESOME time. It was my 1st time to Boston and there was so much to do in such a little bit of time, but I didn't feel too overwhelmed. It was a wonderful getaway...until I tried to get home. It is no secret to anyone that I hate flying...with a passion! I've been terrified of flying since I was a kid and PanAm starting dropping out of the sky and that plane of kids going to Europe crashed in the ocean. They never found all of the plane. Just bits & pieces. Anyway, those are the thoughts that plague my mind when the idea of flying crosses my mind. Waaaaaay in the back is the fear of a 9/11-type of event. Those unexplained crashes that nobody sees coming and no one understands, they stick out. Anyway, so I had fully prepped myself mentally & emotionally for taking an express flight to Boston and back home. Low & behold, my home-bound flight gets cancelled & I had to take 2 planes to get home 5 hours later than I was originally scheduled to get home. After I had a full on panic attack at the airport while my ticketing was altered by the rep, after calling my mom & crying in her ear for a couple of minutes and trying to get myself together, I get on the planes to get home. Thankfully, I arrived safely without incident, but I walked away from RIC feeling like a fool ultimately b/c not only did I lose my cool, but I lost it in a very public setting. The fact that I was miles away from home & without the help & comfort of my mom had a great deal to do with it, but I cannot remember being in a situation where I was such an emotional wreck and completely out of control (by my standards). I mean, I wasn't screaming or falling out of anything, but not being able to stop the flow of tears in a public setting (for someone who DOES NOT cry in public) was unnerving and quite humiliating. So the question I have more for myself than anyone else is, what do I need to do so that I don't lose my mind when panic and fear kick in? I hardly ever panic and I have 1 fear. I do often stress over things, but I can handle that, I deal with it all the time. Panic is new, uncharted territory that, to be quite honest, I'm not a fan of. Typically, when I stress, a book or a call to my mom, or music will calm me down. It took a long time for all of the above to take effect and reduce my level of anxiety. The fact of the matter is, I made it home safely. I've made it home safely each time I've flown, hence me still being here today, but that doesn't stop the fear and anxiety from presenting itself each time I even THINK about flying, much less get to the airport and wait for the plane to get in & take off. I need to figure out how to deal with this. I would hate to have my fear take over so much of my life that it continues to limit me. Let's face it, I haven't been anywhere that can't be reached rather quickly by car or bus in a long time. There are places I want to go & things I want to experience, but this fear of flying is seriously limiting me. I freaked a little bit traveling over the water on the way to Boston...how in the world am I going to handle the Atlantic whenever I make it to Germany? Lord help me!!!

Still Unreal

Even a year later it seems surreal that he's gone. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news. Here we are, a year later and I still don't believe it and I don't feel any better about it. I can only imagine what his kids are going through. I know what its like to lose a parent, but to lose someone whom they would have spent almost every hour of every day with for all of their young lives is unfathomable. I still can't watch him in motion without welling up a bit. I can't look at him as the entertainer he is, the life force he gave and picture him forever motionless and decaying, never to sing another song, never put on another show. Never again. Even as I write this it doesn't all mesh together in my head. But I know he's gone. His life is over and I will never see him move as he is...only as he was. But it still doesn't seem real. Its been 1 year. 365 days. Yet I remember it like it was yesterday. It still doesn't seem real.

I don't know what to think...

So, I just finished reading Passin' by Karen Quninones Miller a few days ago and I am officially stuck. I don't now what to think or what to say. I know the thoughts that the idea of passing brings to my mind. I've had them before, I've thought about them when reading other books about the same act, though they are in different contexts. In this instance, its in today's time. This century, 2007-2008 to be exact and, for me, the idea of a black person making the conscious decision to pass, for whatever reason, stumps me mentally. Partially because I have truly not thought of a person opting to do that in today's time. I, like many of us, would like to think that the time where passing is needed has passed. We, as a race, don't face many of the issues in today's world that many of our parents grandparents and great grandparents faced. We can shop and try on clothes without being forced to buy them if we touch them. We can use the same public facilities as other races. We aren't forced to take on menial and often times manual labor jobs to support our families because of the color of our skin and what that implies for today society. Is it a perfect society? No. There are many faults that still exist, some by the thoughts of others and some by the thoughts of other African Americans. I'm also stumped because I truly cannot fathom denying, or taking the risk of having to deny, my family. I can't imagine taking the 1st gift my parents gave me, my name, and changing it to fit into someone else's mold of what a more proper, non-ethnic, name would be. Something that would otherwise be seen as so trivial, made such a difference in the story. The change of a name from Shanika, to Nikkie, to Nicole is a big step to being disassociated from those who raised you and loved your light, bright, damn near white tail from birth. So, those are a couple of the reasons why this book has stumped me. Not to mention that it ends so incompletely. I'm hoping there's a sequel somewhere because I was looking for more story...not the reading group discussion questions on the last page. But anyway, I'm still pondering this. Even as I read another book in my collection, I'm trying to make this book, which was a good read, make sense to me. I just can't imagine a black woman today, no matter how white she may look, choosing to pass. Especially when looking at the character in the book, who never hesitated to tell people as she was growing up that she was not white, she was black, born to 2 black parents. I just can't picture it. Probably because I've never encountered it personally. I've heard stories of people passing. I've heard of and read about the fear they always had of being found out, and in the days where there was no plastic surgery to hide the more ethnic features, that was a constant fear. The isolation that many of them felt after choosing, not to leave, but to abandon their families and relocate to keep the farce alive. I've heard it all. But none of it occurred in 2007. Heck, none of it occurred in 1987! I guess the sign of a good literary encounter is how long you think about it after the reading is done. If that is the case, this book is better than I thought it was...and I thought it was good, except for the ending. I do need to watch "Imitation of Life." I've never seen it. Never thought about seeing it. Its really not my kind of movie. But after reading this book, I think I need to have a seat and see how it goes. It's amazing, I never thought about the other passing story lines I've read so much as I have this one. But they were all set in the time between post slavery and pre-civil rights movement America. Are there more books out there based on this subject set in the time of the 21st century? I need to look into that as well.

The Wedding Singer...*SMH*

So, I went to see The Wedding Singer and hated almost every minute all of it. There isn't much I can say about it other than the male voices were great, the females...horrible! Imagine a cat that ate a mouse and both were trying to sing out of the same mouth at the same time. HORRIBLE! Reedy, nasal pitch that made my throat hurt. I'm glad I went to see it, simply to support the arts in my community so that more shows would come to this area, but I really didn't enjoy it thanks to those horrible female voices. In fact, the best part about the show was my $25 seat, high in the balcony, by myself (3800 capacity, 1100 tickets sold) = feeling like I bought out the theater for my own private showing of the musical. Bird's eye, center, direct view of the stage. That was great. If the night had been my seat, the male cast and the ushers it would have been great. Those doggone female cats wrecked the night for me.

Wicked Understudies for the Wicked Witches!

Sooo, I'm a little late in typing this bad boy up, but I have to get this one in before I go see yet another musical this week!! Last Sunday I took my mom and family friend to see Wicked: A New Musical at the Landmark here in Richmond. I was so excited to take them and I couldn't wait to see the cast once again myself. As this was my 2nd time seeing it on the road, I wanted to see the wonderful Marcie Dodd as Elphaba again as well as the person playing Glinda, who was different from the one in Norfolk last year. So, imagine my disappointment when we get there and I open my Playbill to find all these little inserts. Everyone who's been to a musical knows what that means....UNDERSTUDIES!!! I was so disappointed. My hopes were dashed a little bit before the lights even had the chance to dim. Then I had to do a little coaching for myself. I ran the things I know are true: The understudies/standbys have to be good at what they do, otherwise they wouldn't have been chosen. No one can be an understudy and suck, Broadway doesn't work that way. Marcie is the lead in a VERY taxing musical, there's no way she can sing every single show without rest. The understudy will be good. But it wasn't just Elphaba who was being played by the understudy. Elphaba, Glinda & Nessarose were played by understudies! The whole lead cast. And they were all GREAT! Anne Brummel (Elphaba) showed a much higher range than Marcie Dodd and absolutely gave me chills on her 1st big number "The Wizard & I." Michelle London (Glinda) wasn't as strong of a voice as the Glinda from Norfolk. She still had the wonerful upper range, but her lower range was not as bright or carrying. All in all, it was like seeing Wicked for the first time all over again! It was awesome!!! They were awesome. The audience was so caught up in what was going on and the collective gasp that came forth from every single person in the grand tier at least, was amazing when Elphaba sang "Defying Gravity." The lesson learned....Never doubt the strength of an understudy.

The Power of A Proofreader

There are few things that irritate me more than reading a mass produced piece of literature littered with errors. How this even occurs, I can't begin to understand. Even if an author submitted a book to a publisher full of errors, aren't there editors and/or proofreaders who preview the written material BEFORE it hits the press? If there are no proofreaders, I would love to stick my name in the hat to be one, especially after reading the last book I read. Written by one of my most favorite authors, the book Any Rich Man Will Do by Francis Ray was filled with so many 4Th Grade mistakes I should have read it with a red pen in hand! The mistakes in this book were so blatant that, if there was a proofreader employed in the publication process, they should be forced to return the money they were paid to do a job that they obviously did not do well. I really wish I could say that I'm exaggerating but, unfortunately, I cannot. If you don't believe me, read the book for yourself. While a Francis Ray story NEVER disappoints, the editing/proofreading that was supposed to be done, left a lot to be desired. From the omission of the "r" in "her" ("[She] wondered if he son"), to "than" being used when it should have been "then," to the wrong words being made plural ("often attended his schools assembly" instead of "school assemblies"). These are just some of the occurrences that showed up time and time again, page after page. I don't understand how so many errors made it to the mass-produced print copy and I wonder if, since I bought a copy from the 1st edition in 2005, the later editions have been corrected. I'm certainly not going to purchase a copy to find out, though. This is not the first time this has happened. I've read other books, by other authors that were littered with some of the same errors, this is just the most recent. I even highlighted errors in the first Brenda Jackson book I read. Perhaps what was most frustrating was that I'm a huge Francis Ray fan & I felt let down by whomever had the task of making sure that this story was in its best shape when it was printed. Maybe it was because the story was a really good story of redemption and an example of the Psalm passage "when my mother & father forsake me, the Lord with lift me up" & how people are sometimes placed in situations that they don't feel they deserve, just to be given another chance, and due to the errors I was repeatedly jolted from the story to correct what shouldn't have been incorrect in the first place. At any rate, what this has done is renew in me the desire to get into proofreading and see how I can make some additional funds doing something that is obviously, desperately needed, while also doing something I enjoy. Considering that many of the errors I find are discovered while simply reading a story, I would like to think that it may not be that hard. Of course, I could be wrong considering evidence to the contrary. But I am about to get really serious about looking into it and making it happen. Until then, I will keep my red pen handy. And to Francis Ray, should you read this, know that I continue to be a fan of your work. I would, however, look into who St. Martin's Press is using for editing and/proofing your work, because they aren't doing a good job. Or at least they weren't in 2005.