Marked for Change

I just finished reading Marked by P.C. & Kristin Cast. Which is my 2nd novel read for 2010...34 to go! Overall it was an interesting story & take on the world of vampyres. At one point it was taking me forever to read a couple of pages at a time, but after psyching myself out with an old, reliable trick that, for some reason, never fails, I managed to close out what was taking 2 months to read, in 2 days. If you plan to read this book, stop reading this now. Know that it was good, I liked it and move on. I guess what I'm saying is "spoiler alert." This book deals with very practical things that people tend to go through: Trying to be true to yourself, not being accepted by those who you love & care about & losing relationships that you thought would never go away, but ultimately finding a place that is all yours, where you can grow into who you are meant to be. In this case, it is a house/school for vampyres, but there are still real-life applications for many of the basic things that occur in this story. One that stuck out for me was Zoey having to deal with not only the transition of her remarrying, but that new marriage changing how her mom related to & treated her. On top of that, having to deal with this new father figure who, in order to play the role of the male in the house, found a way to make her mother OK with relinquishing not only the role she played as the family leader for 13yrs (Zoey is 16), but also made her content with having no true emotional attachment to her daughter. To be 16 & come to your mother after having been publicly marked for life (or death) as a vampyre & seek out her help, comfort & understanding after having your best friend & some other associates your age treat you like a freak, & your mom's response is not to comfort you or even ask how it happened, but to call up her husband, whom you don't like, & her prayer circle to attempt and exorcism on you. There are things explained in the storyline of this book that make such an attempt ridiculous. I, in no way doubt or scoff at the value & power of a real-life prayer group/circle. To not once hear your mother say that she loves you & will miss you, knowing that she will never see you again, is hard for any child to take, no matter their age. Add to that the fact that you now know that your life will never be the same & no matter what you do when you leave, no matter how well you prepare for your new existence, it could all end in your death. Imagine being a cancer/AIDS/lupus patient, or someone serving in the armed forces, in a combat or non-combat position. Imagine looking your mortality in the face & knowing that, no matter how many treatments or surgeries you have, no matter how many pills, injections, courses or drills you take, the end result is out of your control & ultimately, you may never see your death coming. On top of that, having been visibly branded as different so that, upon coming to this new environment, those who you now have to come to know & hopefully befriend, see you as weird & either gawk at you, treat you like a freak or are so nice to you that you know it isn't genuine. These are the things that Zoey had to face as a 16 yr old fledgling. Many adults would be completely intimidated & overwhelmed by this kind of experience. To have to face the uncertainty of a situation & then attempt to deal with it all on your own & succeed...& not die! Many adults are crumbling now under the uncertainty of today's condition &, when seeing that they can't handle it, have resorted to murder &/or suicide just to be rid of it. But as my mom has often said, suicide is a permanent end to a temporary situation. Ultimately, Zoey finds that she can & must rely on her new friends & a spirit guide to help her get through & deal with what she will encounter in her new life. The same is true for me (& you, if you agree). I(we) must learn to rely & depend on God to help me(us) deal with the daily struggles I(we) encounter. And I(we) have to learn that its OK to, not only ask the friends & support system that He has blessed me(us) with for help, but to trust that even when they have no answer, He always does & although the answer may not come right away or as I(we) want it to, it will & does come. I(We) just have to be on the lookout for it. And YES!!! I just went from talking about a vampyre book to talking about my God.

Snow Day

When I was young, I remember praying for a snow day. I remember sitting in Mrs. Fink's 1st grade class at Ratcliffe Elementary and being so upset at seeing the 1st snowflakes fall thru a translucent school window, versus being at home watching it out of my own bedroom window. Then I was upset because the snow started while I was at school, and then it started after LUNCH! So we couldn't even get the chance of leaving early. We didn't have many snow days when I was a kid. There were a few here and there. I remember hitting a patch of ice in the car with my Step-dad & getting stuck in my mom's car right outside our town home complex, but those were few & far between. There were plenty of days when we had freezing temperatures that made you think your fingers and toes were going to fall off. I remember coming home from school a couple of times and rushing to the sink to run warm water over my hands because, even with gloves on, I was scared I was getting frostbite. But not many snow days. I didn't even own a pair of snow boots until I graduated from college, and still didn't need them for about 6 yrs! The last major snow I remember hitting my area was during my junior year. Schools were shut down for more than a week and I had the rare luxury of being at home, which I loved. I had a little brother who hadn't seen a major snowfall like that before. I had TV to watch, books to read, games to play, music to listen to and, thanks to my parents, light housework to do. My mom didn't believe in being in the house for a whole day & not doing ANY housework. I say all of this because now, my city is experiencing more snow, back-to-back, than it has in years. Children and adults have been confined to their homes for 1-3 days at a time or longer and the chief complaint that I have seen & heard is that they are BORED!!! Seriously?! Being bored in your own company is something I just don't understand. Who knows you better than you? Who better to entertain you & keep you busy than yourself? Why is that, of all things, we are rarely prepared to keep ourselves company or occupied? I guess a better question is why are we not prepared to be alone? Maybe I'm crazy, or I'm just used to myself and being by myself, but after being in the house for 2 days straight I crocheted 3 hats, caught up on missed episodes of Dollhouse, Private Practice, Ghost Whisperer & Oprah. Watched Kung Fu Panda, which I'd had from Netflix since 2 weeks before Christmas. Washed clothes, played video games, read some of Marked (which is becoming hard to finish), and of course, watched cartoons & a little news. I took the Buffinator our to play in the snow and talked to my mom on the phone. I had PLENTY to do,without the thought or feeling of boredom. Is that so abnormal? Maybe its because I'm not home for long periods on a regular basis that I love being able to sit at home & spend my time, my way. Snow days make my house sing to me that I can make myself at home cuz I'm welcome. Today is a snow day. Tomorrow will be too. I'm excited at the prospect. Not many of my friends are.

My Firsts

Since I'm starting at the beginning of my art experience, I figured i would share my first "wow" moments dealing with books and music. The first real-deal musical (other than Sesame Street) that I remember seeing was Sarafina. The story truly captivated me and actually brought about my first involvement of world matters/affairs. I couldn't have been older than 9 at the time and the musical was making its way through the States when Apartheid was a major issue in South Africa. This musical helped me to see how bad things were and helped me to understand them a little more than I did from simply watching the news or hearing my Pastor talk about it at church. To see at story unfold focused, not on adults who were suffering and hurting but children in Soweto who were struggling to grow and mature in a culture that through riots and random acts of hatred, was robbing some of them of their childhood and others of their lives was a true wake up moment for me.I got to see the musical courtesy of my Step-dad and mom. I remember walking into the Carpenter Center in Downtown Richmond and at 1st glance thinking the stage was pretty barren. But as the musical went on, the scarcity of an elaborate setting of props was forgotten. They were simple and well fitting so as not to take away from the story, the strength of the plot and the strength of the cast, who were mostly kids and had grown up in the Apartheid society of South Africa. I saw Sarafina about 20 years ago and I still remember it to this day as a musical that greatly impacted how I see the world and the issues of other countries. The first book that really drew me in was The Dollhouse Murders by Betty Ren Wright. This was one of those books that I ended up reading long before I was supposed to, based on the reading guidelines for Elementary School at the time. I read it in 3rd grade. This was my first supernatural/haunting book and the onset of what has been called a very twisted reading life by some. I have a story about a 12 year old girl who finds a hidden dollhouse where the dolls move on their own & play out a murder that was a family mystery from 3 generations prior was more than any of my friends were reading at the time. But it was awesome for me. I read it in 2 days and thanks to that book, I came to Octavia Butler, Tananarive Due, Anne Rice and many others. I didn't see my 1st opera until I was in the 11Th grade. For someone who had been singing for almost as long as I could talk, I had never been opened up to the world of opera until it was almost time for me to graduate, thanks to my 11Th grade chorus teacher. The opera was Lucia di Lammermoor by Donizetti. All I remember thinking was that opera was GREAT for drama queens. The love triangle. The fights. The deaths. The suicide. Set to music...AWESOME!!

These were my first experiences that lead me to be the avid reader and lover of music that I am today. These helped me want to continue, want to see more, want to do more and want to be more. That's it for the past. Now, for now...