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This past weekend I went to a jazz fest here in Richmond. Let me preface this by saying I have never...NEVER...been to a jazz fest before in my life! As much as I love jazz & as much as I have listened to jazz I have had the opportunity to see it played live, in person, played by its original composer/musician little to no times. I'm sitting here trying to think of one time and, beyond seeing Anita Baker back in the 90's, I am coming up empty. The reason why has nothing to do with money & everything to do with timing. For some reason, the majority of the jazz fests that take place around my locale tend to fall on the 3rd Sunday, which is the Sunday I sing at my church. I'm don't like to miss that because its the one thing that I LOOOOVE to offer God whenever I can. Anywho, I was able to go to this one because it was in my city and I was able to rehearse & sing on Saturday & Sunday and still go and I had wonderful friends who were willing to foot the bill for me, as my funds were awfully low. So this past weekend I got to see Norman Brown, Chaka Kahn, Chuck Mangione & Boney James. All artists whom I have listened to for years and 2 of whom I have adored & treasured since I was a kid (Chaka & Chuck). On top of that, I was able to see and hear some people I've never heard before. Marcus Johnson, who's an awesome pianist. Ledisi, of whom I have heard but never really listened to because I don't like listening to the radio (too much repeat, too many commercials, too little variety). So overall, this past weekend was great (how many times have I said this?), but I came to the realization that I need more weekends like this. I don't get out enough. I don't allow myself to take advantage of the opportunities around me often enough for me to benefit from them in any way. I spend so much time doing things that don't really have anything to do with me & that would continue to function whether I was there or not, and not enough time doing things that I really would enjoy doing. Things that are different. Things that I need to do. I spend a lot of time thinking about what is and what isn't in my life. Where I am versus where I would like to be, held up against where I thought I would be by now. While I know there is nothing that I can do to change what has been done, I know that if I don't want my future to be the same as my past (which isn't bad) I need to change, I need to invite change & I need to accept change. I need to save for the shows I want to see. I need to save for the other jazz fests that happen withing 90 miles of my front door and make the time to go to them & enjoy them. I've been wanting to do the Dave Koz cruise for almost 4 years now. WHY HAVEN'T I GONE??? Partly because of the costs but mostly because I think about it, something else comes up and I push it to the side, never to think about it again until I hear about it on his web show. This has to stop! I have got to stop saying "I wanna" & start saying "I'm gonna" & frigging follow through. That's my commitment to myself. Rant over. Mind clear. Planning will commence tomorrow.